The interesting thing about creating, and then watching this video is that I’ve never seen myself walk. I’ve seen other morbidly obese people walk and assumed I looked the same as them. And I do… and I don’t. I expected more of a waddle, but I swang dat booty (duly noted, I cannot pull that off).
It’s easy to see why it hurts to walk. From the bottom to the top:
Feet: an extraordinarily high instep, freakishly wide foot and a semi-constant case of edema in my feet, it’s really hard to find running shoes that fit. I’ve done the best I could here (New Balance 880 v4) and they’re more comfortable than any of the others I tried on, with the added benefit of the ability to visually monitor my progress from space thanks to the insane neon colours.
Knees: My knees are relatively comfortable walking – it’s stairs that really cause me trouble here.
Thighs/Hips: Not always, but sometimes, I hear (and feel) a solid “thunk” in my hip joint with each step. It doesn’t hurt, but it is unnerving.
Glutes: I assure you, there is an amazing butt in there somewhere – and strong too.
Lower Back: Here’s where it all goes to hell. A hot, achy, level-9 pain radiates from my sacrum (tailbone) to each side on my lower back. I can hear a click come up through my spine with each step. The pain starts within about 30-50 steps and stops almost immediately when I sit down. This is the pain that keeps me from walking – and probably from discovering when my feet start to hurt. I recently bought an “obesity belt” designed to alleviate some of the pressure on my low back and while a belt may sound like a fashion accessory, I assure you, it’s not. If I’m feeling particularly self confident one of these days, I’ll film the engineering marvel that puppy is – getting it on is…well, it’s hilarious. And also sad.
I wanted to make you all a fancy hi-res movie with music and transitions and fancy effects – but alas, I have a job and- in the parlance of my prairie brethren – I’d rather just “git ‘er done” than be perfect.
The video in this post also stars Crosby (Pooshie), Wylie (The Jooje) and the voice of Jason (Kettlekins). Warning: if I love you, I WILL give you a nickname.