Mini-post: Struggling with Acceptance

Stream of Consciousness Ramble: I want to love myself. And I do. Some of the time. Most of the time. I can’t say, however, that I accept myself exactly as I am and exactly as I’m not. I’m trying to find a place of ease and freedom around my body – yet this body places limitations on my life that I don’t accept. Friends and followers often say, “you’re perfect just the way you are,” or, “there’s no where to get.” And I appreciate the sentiment. And I think they misunderstand where I’m coming from. I don’t want to lose weight because I think being fat is bad or wrong, but because I am unable to do things that I’d like to be able to do: walk without pain, travel, sit comfortably in public seating, find clothes that fit and don’t cost an arm and a leg and, mostly, make a difference in the world. I don’t accept this body because it limits me and I’m having a helluva time accepting the mind or emotional being or whatever it is that returns again and again to food for fun/comfort/solace/something to do/pain relief/you name it food does it. I find myself wishing it were different. And, at the same time grateful my cravings don’t call for something more dangerous. The million dollar question: how do I love myself, accept myself and take action to change myself all at the same time?

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