Moving Water: Kidneys, Clutter and Tears

I spent two days in bed last week. My back was killing me and I had a constant headache. My friend Charis brought it to my attention that 22 lbs recently passed out of my body and through my kidneys and perhaps I should drink more water. Then I remembered the pattern: every time I have a big drop on the scale, I spent half the day before in the washroom. For lack of a more delicate phrase, I’m peeing out the pounds. And the best way to keep the processing plant healthy is to keep things flowing.

The Mayo Clinic recommends  9 cups a day – or 2.2 litres for women. I live in Calgary – and if you’ve every been here, you know it’s so dry you’ll have chapped lips before you leave the airport. With this in mind, I’m drinking more water. About 2.5 litres a day – more if I have time. Now, before you go fitting me for a halo, I don’t love water. And I drink it with flavouring. And the flavouring has aspartame.  But you’re going to have to cut me some slack, because it’s better than it was and today, that’s ok by me.

My back still hurts a little after sitting for a long stretch, but I think that’s because my inner jock is getting frustrated with my outer fat girl and just wants to get on with it already – I may be trying to do a little more than my lower back is comfortable supporting. Chill, inner jock – your time will come.

As if my kidneys and my clutter were cosmically connected, I began to yearn to clear out our spare room. On Saturday, we tackled it. We got rid of a lot of stuff. Old stuff. Stuff I’ve been moving around with me from place to place, year after year. Sound familiar? Me, my junk and a couple hundred extra pounds. I threw out photos of people I used to know and things I used to like. I tossed the beginnings of things and pieces of things. And some things I’d finished, too. And I kept some things.  I kept love letters. I kept pictures of my sister and I. I kept souvenirs from my travels. Things that make me happy and proud and light.

My sister and I circa 1993
My sister and I circa 1993
Born to be wild, Ko Samui, Thailand, 2001
Born to be wild, Ko Samui, Thailand, 2001

After it was all done, I sat on the couch and began to cry. I hadn’t thrown away anything that I didn’t want to – nothing important. They weren’t tears of loss or grief. They were cleansing tears. Water was again moving remnants of the past out of my body. Dozens of pounds, decades of stuff and a lifetime of holding on to hurt and stress and fear are slowly flowing out of my space to make room for a new life of possibility.

Love and Light,

P.S. It occurs to me I don’t have a lot of pictures at heavier weights…I probably threw them away. Or, if I’m being completely honest, I’m not trying that hard to find them. Hmmmm….fodder for another post, another day.

8 thoughts on “Moving Water: Kidneys, Clutter and Tears

  1. Camie,

    As someone who knows you but wishes to remain anonymous I give you this advice:

    Aspartame is proven to create a state of glucose intolerance by altering gut microbiota towards glucose intolerance, I strongly suggest you remove it from your diet.

    Also to Edie: Coffee in general counts as a liquid, it is not proven to be a diuretic as many claim it to be.

    Good luck to you in your efforts.


  2. Love reading your posts. You have reminded me how important it is to drink more water. I don’t think I have ever seen that photo of you and Mandy. How did I get so lucky and blessed to have two beautiful and talented daughters.
    Love Mom


  3. Hello Camie. My name is Debbie and I am your amazing aunt’s personal trainer. She was telling me your story and then forwarded your blog. You are inspiring to many for many reasons! I must tell you that your writing style is outstanding – readable, relatable and enjoyable. I am sure you could write a book of inspiration about your experience when you have succeeded – which I know you will. I would be happy and honoured to provide you a free workout session when you are ready. Cheers to your “inner jock”. You go girl.


      1. You should, Camie!! My trainer (and now friend), Debbie, understands all about we real people who walk around in this world. She is kind, friendly and she makes me do things I’d never do by myself – and I don’t hate her for it!!! I keep going back for more. I hope you know how happy I am to see what you are doing. It’s inspiring to the rest of us, it’s wonderful for you and we are all on your side. You go, girl!!!
        Auntie Patti


  4. Camie, I finally finished reading each and every single blog post. I’m just blown away by your positive attitude and willingness to be so transparent. It’s truly inspirational. Also, you are an amazing writer. When I read your blog, I get absolutely emotional (I’ve laughed, cried, and everything in between) because you have a tremendous gift in sharing raw emotions through your writing. You just need to put all of these blog posts together and publish a book!! Have you ever thought about vlogging as well?

    Kiran 🙂


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